{"id":7393,"date":"2026-02-15T08:00:47","date_gmt":"2026-02-15T14:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/?p=7393"},"modified":"2026-09-09T12:55:01","modified_gmt":"2026-09-09T18:55:01","slug":"grouchy-phone-granny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/grouchy-phone-granny\/","title":{"rendered":"Grouchy Phone Granny"},"content":{"rendered":"<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-7393-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Grouchy-Phone-Granny.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Grouchy-Phone-Granny.mp3\">https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Grouchy-Phone-Granny.mp3<\/a><\/audio><p><a href=\"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Grouchy-Phone-Granny.mp3\"><button type=\"button\">Download<\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Script: Drrrty A, Oates, dubs<br \/>\nVO: Pissboy<br \/>\nProducer: Drrrty A, dubs, Lil PDS<\/p>\n<p>Some grandmothers bake cookies, tell stories, and spoil their grandchildren. Others answer the phone like they\u2019ve just been personally offended by its existence. \u201cGrouchy Phone Granny\u201d introduces us to one of the latter\u2014and she has apparently reached the age where giving a shit about anybody else\u2019s problems is no longer covered under her warranty. What should be a simple phone conversation quickly becomes an exercise in elderly hostility&#8230;<!--more-->&#8230;as Granny delivers complaints, attitude, and unsolicited verbal abuse with the efficiency of someone who has been waiting all morning for an opportunity to tell somebody to fuck off. There are no warm family memories, no words of wisdom, and certainly no cookies. Just one pissed-off grandmother, one unfortunate caller, and the growing realization that sometimes the safest thing you can say to Granny is absolutely nothing. Because when Grandma starts talking, you listen\u2014and if you know what&#8217;s good for you, you don&#8217;t ask her to repeat herself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Script: Drrrty A, Oates, dubs VO: Pissboy Producer: Drrrty A, dubs, Lil PDS Some grandmothers bake cookies, tell stories, and spoil their grandchildren. Others answer the phone like they\u2019ve just been personally offended by its existence. \u201cGrouchy Phone Granny\u201d introduces us to one of the latter\u2014and she has apparently reached the age where giving a &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/grouchy-phone-granny\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7337,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"no","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"amp_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[289],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2026gpo","nodate","item-wrap"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7393"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7521,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7393\/revisions\/7521"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goatposse.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}