Triviate

This year, we present another track from the mind of Jam-oooh!  Previously, he birthed Goat Shop, but this time out, he wanted to parody Warren G’s Regulate. With Dude co-writing, Skinny D matching the flow of Warren G, Bear mastering Nate Dogg, and Pokéjohn expertly producing this mess, we present to you our Musicial Magnum Opus: Triviate.

 

INTRO Triviators! We regulate all answers of the questions. We’re damn good, too. You can definitely be any geek off the street. You gotta have nerves of steel, though, if you know what I mean—no time for sleep.

Phone bankers! Hang up.

VOLUNTEER It was a long weekend, a cold St. Cloud
Volunteer on the streets, they just been plowed
I’m heading ‘cross campus, cuz I’m bored as hell
I got homework to do, guess I might as well
RINGER It’s my 23rd year at KVSC
Score me a big hug from Mrs. Jo Mc.-B.
Been waitin’ all year, it’s my favorite week
Set the station up and sit back in my seat
VOLUNTEER So I drag myself into 2-7 Stewart
My name’s on the list cuz my prof said, “Do this!”
I ask where to go and they told me, “Heads up!”
Now I’m in the phone bank, so I guess I’m stuck
RINGER Strollin’ through the hall, these are my best nerds
We been doing this forever, way ahead of the curve
I’m thinkin’ ‘bout the start, I know all the tricks
When I see a noobie there all in a fix
VOLUNTEER I grabbed a chair, I settled myself
I asked the supe, “Can I get some help?”
The phone started ringing, I took their guess
Told them that I didn’t know, then I thought, “What’s next?”
RINGER The noob is getting hemmed up and looking all around
Ain’t none of them hearing him because of all the sound
I gotta help out real quick before he starts to clown
I best head right on over and calm this buster down
VOLUNTEER I got the phone to my head
Just put the thing down
I can’t believe that I didn’t leave town
If I knew what to say
Just let me formulate
I glanced to my left and I see a friendly face
RINGER Sixty points on the line, one guess in the hole
This team is ‘bout to have their chances turn cold
Now they’re screamin’ and yellin’
But it’s not too late
Me and newbie here got to triviate
[INTERLUDE]
RINGER I settled all them busters down
They didn’t all explode
Now I’m switching my mind right into supe mode
“If they win the points, just click over here
Don’t sweat it too much, it’s only your first year”
VOLUNTEER Now no longer freaked
I learned some new facts
Before I was a hack, now I’m on the right track
Stay up, stay up, cuz it’s fun
K-V-S-C and me
N-O-O to the B
RINGER Just like I thought,
Once out of that spot
He started to have a blast
In what felt like a short while
His assignment hours passed
At the end of his shift, he was happy as hell
He said, “Man, I’d like to stay”
I said, “You’ve got this down and you seem real nice
There are free shifts all day.
There’s a room full of food and we’ll feed you real well
The next step is to deal with the smell”
[INTERLUDE]
VOLUNTEER No sleeping
To an expert level
Bad funk, in the stall, I dare ya
Funk
On a whole new level
RINGER My movement hits the base and the base starts to tremble
VOLUNTEER Goats
Teams
The screens
Parodies
Junk
Where trivia is life
And life is trivia
RINGER If you know what I know
I can give you points for this
In the Google era, jacked up with a Trivia twist
If you’re stoked like I’m stoked
There’ll be drinks at the bar Sunday
And if you come back next year
8-8-1 will modulate
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