The Goat Posse holds nothing back, except when it might get KVSC in trouble if its heard on the airwaves. So while the clean version was aired during Trivia, we have made available our unadulterated version here. While we stand by our masterpiece; there are so many twists and turns in the lyrics, we have presented the script here so you won’t miss each example of the frustrating time suck known as a Major Digression.
DUDE: Hey! Come on in guys! Check out the new and improved Trivia team headquarters.
THE RHYMINISTER: Whoa—impressive setup! Ready to kick ass this year?
DUDE: Damn right!
SKINNY D: Yeah, this is great! I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for the last two months!
Oh, hey, and I brought along some more help. This is my cousin—he’s a total search engine wiz. I figure he’ll really give us the edge we need.
PHAL: Hi, guys…thanks for having me.
THE RHYMINISTER: So, you’re fast at researching info online?
PHAL: Yeah, I browse for random stuff all the time.
DUDE: Perfect! I got a station set up for you right over here. The competition will be starting soon, so let’s all take our places. Are we all set?
SKINNY D: Let’s do this!
THE RHYMINISTER: Bring it on!
DUDE: Boys, let’s get to it… Here we go.
DUDE: Uh, uh…Trivia starts now.
DUDE: We’re back in the Cloud and about to get loud. Trivia starts now…
DUDE: Trivia starts now and we’re suitin’ up / Powerin’ on the PCs and they’re bootin’ up
PHAL: Bootin’ up!
DUDE: Diggin’ through the ‘fridgerator and we’re lootin’ up
PHAL: Yeah…come on!
DUDE: And we’re hopin’ this year that we ain’t gonna suck
THE RHYMINISTER: Gettin’ shifty-eyed as we scan all the screens / Twitchin’ with excitement as we down the caffeine
PHAL: Yeah, yeah!
THE RHYMINISTER: Hate to complain, Question Three’s got me stuck / Need some help quick or we’re shit out of luck
PHAL: Hey, check this out! This cat looks like Hitler! / Such as great ‘stache; that is, for a cat
PHAL: Hundreds of cat pics, there’s just so many / Isn’t it funny their fur grew like that?
SKINNY D: Yeah, that was kinda weird but we’re back in the race / Rackin’ up the points, we’re in 55th place
PHAL: Go Team Catler!
SKINNY D: Muthafuckin’ answer man, call me Nostradamus / Brain set to the max, I’m a Trivia alumnus
PHAL: Cute kittens!
DUDE: Watch it girl, ‘cause I ain’t your “Wimpy Guess Guy” / More the like the “Know It, One Call, and Answer Twice Guy”
PHAL: Yeah, yeah!
DUDE: After Hour 34, headin’ for the Top Ten / Startin’ to feel crazy ‘cause I’m crashin’ hard again
PHAL: Now time for some YouTube! / I just found this new one, an Asian man dancing
PHAL: Crossing his wrists and stomping the floor / He’s galloping around
THE RHYMINISTER: Yeah, uh huh…
PHAL: In different colored jackets
THE RHYMINISTER: Oh, God…
PHAL: And look what’s behind that elevator door!
SKINNY D: Yeah, we’ve seen the vid.
DUDE: Knock it off over there! Act like you care…come on
PHAL: Match dot com!
PHAL: Smoking Gun!
THE RHYMINISTER: From the front to back say we score snacks, come on
THE RHYMINISTER: Nope…
THE RHYMINISTER: Wrong!
SKINNY D: Listen, cousin, we’re really gonna need you to focus up!
PHAL: Roger that, let me try it with another site!
PHAL: Searching Google Earth, you can see our team headquarters
DUDE: Not better!
PHAL: Here’s David at the dentist, man that kid is high
SKINNY D: Come on!
PHAL: OK, then here on Pinterest, that recipe looks tasty
THE RHYMINISTER: Noooo, God!
PHAL: No way—see what these two girls are doing with that cup!
DUDE: I give up!
PHAL: (spoken) Wow, that is totally disgusting but I can’t stop watching…
(singing) This here is the best site with nothing but fetish / Only one dollar for a two-day review
THE RHYMINISTER: I’m going home…
PHAL: Full HD format, adjustable angles / Let’s start downloading, before membership expires!
THE RHYMINISTER: Dude, your cousin is a total mouthbreather.
PHAL: Trivia is awesome!
DUDE: Yup, yeah, I think we’re done…would you make sure to clear the browser history when you’re finished?